Witty Valentines Day Quotes and Quips

Witty Valentine's Day Quotes and Quips Set aside those mushy, sentimental words of love. Valentines Day is the perfect occasion to tease your lover with the naughty humor of these quotes. Funny words may bring a smile, but witty jabs add a spark to the relationship. This Valentines Day, roll on the floor with laughter. Helen Rowland A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted. Brendan Francis A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Miguel De Cervantes Absence: that common cure of love. Aerosmith Falling in love is so hard on the knees. Ogie,  Waitress If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I would have many pennies. Author Unknown If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Laurence J. Peter Its better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. Henny Youngman Ive been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, shell kill me. Jonathan Swift Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. Cathy Carlyle Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. Jules Renord Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. W. Somerset Maugham Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. Woody Allen Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. John Barrymore Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. Reed Bennet, Valentines Day Love is the only shocking act left on the planet. William Caxton Love lasteth as long as the money endureth. Richard Friedman Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail. Charles Dickens Never sign a Valentine with your own name. Albert Einstein No, this trick wont work. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Henry Kissinger Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. Theres too much fraternizing with the enemy. Erich Segal True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Marie E. Eschenbach We dont believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack. Oscar Wilde Women are made to be loved, not understood. Henny Youngman You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.